Dr. BlueBird: The Chronicles of Mind Inquest

It's been  quite some time since my last blog entry - The most prominent reason being I have been working on something on a much larger scale - So here's a taste of the little nest I've been building. 

The Blue Bird has developed a fair amount over its year in existence, originating as a poetry and prose blog graduating into a philosophy and advise research hub.

The next logical step? Psychology. Over the last six months I have been working on a study that embodies most subject matters discussed and analyzed on this blog. Why we do what we do, how we can better ourselves and as always - how to be happy. The chapters so far are as follows:

- The Chore of Choice: Unlimited Options, A Recipe for Digression. 

Summary: People always say it's good to have options, keep them open - that way it will be easier to make decisions and figure out what exactly is going to be the correct route for you. Studies,  - statistically and neurologically prove the opposite. People with numerous or unlimited options find it more difficult to make a decision and are more often than not disappointed by "what could have been." A person with few or no options is programmed to be happy with whatever they are given, whatever they can achieve.  This seems like a simple concept, but - there's a reason for it. I have carried out a comprehensive study on the science of our minds, and the inability to cope with indecision - and why it prevents happiness - the difference between synthesized happiness and "actual". Some of the concept is explained in this TED talks: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q1dgn_C0AU

In my study, I look at how we can program ourselves to overcome the problems inherited by giving yourself too many options.

- The Jail Sentence of Escapism: Crash Landings

Summary: These are the dreamers, the adventurers - often, read a lot of fiction - watch a lot of movies, travel compulsively and find it increasingly difficult to live a "regular" life. It's all very romantic and very inspiring, those who can pick up at the drop of a hat and disappear, no regrets; just an amazing zest to live. Myself included it all seems like a good idea but there's a problem. A number of studies, including my own portray individuals with the escapist mentality to have a few outstanding similar traits. All have a wide imagination: be it artistically, sexually or subconsciously. A fear of commitment: committing to anything or person may hold you back from an adventure; so they find a place for numerous superficial relationships and responsibilities; but abandon ship before the potential for depth and attachment develops - if they don't, the next stage is resentment. But the saddest element of being an Escapist is in almost all cases explored; every-time a new route is driven, a great idea brought to life; they find themselves deflated, uninspired or let down, and so the cycle continues - keep looking, keep exploring: but the sad fact being, the "pot of gold" in one way or another, never fully lives up to expectations.  My study looks into why that is, is it the fault of imagination or expectation? The solution is very simple; bail out of the jail sentence; for people who enjoy change, this shouldn't be a problem - but it is.

- Social Media, The Anti Social Cold War

Summary: Social Media is a revelation and necessity in todays world. It is responsible for 45% of communication between people in the developed world, 65% of office workers in the US alone spend their 9-5 hours on Facebook and there are more pictures published on Instagram daily than photographs printed in the year 2000. So with all this, you would think this has brought us all closer together, more intimate - sharing more information and personality than ever before. No, that's not the case. Statistics have revealed that people spend less "actual" time together in the years 2010-2013 than ever in recorded history. Telephone companies have revealed that 51% less people speak on the phone than they did in the year 2003. People do not put in effort with each other anymore. The anti-personalisation of the internet has revealed that the more people know, the less committed or warm they are. 1,000 people could wish you a happy birthday on Facebook, but who is going to send you a card or present? Obscene amounts of "likes" on a photograph on Instagram but how often do people tell you they " like your meal" or "you look beautiful" in the reality of life? Facebook chat, or twitter continuously throughout a day with people who live in the same city as you - but how often do you just sit down and talk in a cafe? The falsehood of social media has led us to be cold, uncommitted people. We no longer experience loss, because the people are always there - on our screen. We loose the concept of time passing because instead of making plans with people to catch up; we just check out what they're up to on the internet. The fundamental ruling of warmth is that you miss people - and now that we have built a world based on the inability to miss, how do we over come superficial relationships and revert back to spending real time? Seeing as research, including my own has unveiled that people are happier when with people they care about; is there a way to ditch this cold war we have with social media? The answer is yes.

- Peter Pan Generation: The Stand Still Society

Summary: The trend name says it all, the people who don't grow up. It's not that they're immature or incapable - they just don't abide by the guidelines set by generations before. These are the people that miss the "great milestones" in life. No marriage, no kids, no mortgage, no savings. The 30 something is now the 20 something and they're unlikely to grow out of it. It's fair to say generations evolve and priorities become different - it becomes less important to be married with kids and more important just to "live". Procreation is no longer the "greatest achievement" in the larger scale of things. The argument is rather - a lack of responsibility or the fear of responsibility? Instead of committing to buying a home a Peter Pan would rather spend more money renting for eternity; which is not particularly logical. But a home, to some extent, is a commitment - like marriage. So, we are dealing with a generation of commitment phobes. But is this truly an awful thing? Is this human evolution or human digression? I have looked at this in my study; who is affected more comprehensively - men or women? Perhaps this a concept created to reduce the pressure that was unnecessarily created in generations before us, is this the answer to a stress-free, happy, healthy life - or is this a death sentence for development? 

I hope you enjoy these teasers. In the full articles, I will have exposed research; containing both data that was outsourced and research that was collated by myself. My purpose is to deal with our ever evolving mentality; identifying the pros and cons and in the end how we can help ourselves in embarking onto the best possible life achievable. The more we understand, the more we learn - the more we will grow. Knowledge is power; so long as we all understand we will never know everything. 

Thank you for being so patient! 

"Why me?" Syndrome - The Antidote

"Why me? What did I do to deserve this?"

We've all said it, once, twice..everyday of our lives for some.

I found myself in a frantic situation on Sunday morning; due to my very vivid imagination and unpredictable paranoia I threw myself into an "I'm going to die, why me?" frenzy.

Needless to say, I did not die, and my hospital scare -  although serious, was not as life threatening as I had initially predicted.

The kind of thoughts I found hurdling through my mind whilst being changed into a backless smock in the emergency ward varied from mediocre to an entire mental physical breakdown. I could not vocalize most of it..I got out : "it's snowing.."

My first thought was - why? I buy food for homeless people, I'm a nice person, I've never intentionally hurt anyone, I'm kind to animals, good to my parents and brother, I stay fit, I don't spend excessively on myself.. I'm "good"...so why me?

Then I remembered the birds at home "Oh god, did I leave the heater on or off? Have I killed my birds?"

Quickly, whilst the doctor prodded at my leg - I went back to: why do I deserve this? I have put up with so much in life and gotten so little in return (OK, before everybody starts pointing fingers about how lucky I am  and how many great opportunities have come my way..nothing has ever just "happened" I have worked very hard to get to where I am, and am grateful for any help and guidance I have gotten a long the way: but this isn't about my "achievements"). So is this it? For everyone who has ever hurt me and I have only ever been kind in return? For the obstacles in life I have overcome, this is the end of the road? For the worries I endure everyday; there was never going to be that plain and simple "happiness" waiting for me, for all my patience - I waited for...?

Then the doctor interrupted my trail of thought and promptly confirmed that I wouldn't be dying any time soon - not from this anyway.

Took a second to breathe and thought "whoa....If those were my last thoughts, I'm a lot more selfish than I thought."

Then, you know - given that it's me: I thought about it some more.

Some people are religious and believe if you live life by a certain set of rules outlined in a book of your choosing you will die and be greatly rewarded.

Personally, I would like to make the most of my time in the land of the living, pulsating, heart throbbing mess that often is life. I'm quite sure there are more than a few like me; and we often fall back on something that gives us a little - hope - Karma. What goes around comes around.

It has been in my experience, that the kinder, nicer, more thoughtful, selfless and honest the person - the less they get in return. Yes, that's a very cynical way to look at it; and just being that person should be more than  enough to satisfy someone - but more often than not; it will always feel like something is missing or something has been withheld, taken, broken, hurt or betrayed.

And then the inevitable : "Why me? What did I do to deserve this?"

1) Is it true, does the nice guy always finish last in such a cut throat cycle?

2) Do we live in a world that no matter how hard we try not to, we always expect a reward for our behviour?

3) It's ok, Karma...things will get better.

All three are true. Yes, sometimes - being a push over isn't going to work; people see your kindness and take advantage of your for it, somehow, they always get ahead in life. But you're not them, keep reminding yourself. I remember an episode of Friends from my early years. The selfless good deed. There is no such thing as a selfless good deed. You do something good, something kind, something thoughtful and it makes you feel good, it makes you feel happy, vindicated (and there's nothing wrong with that) - so naturally, it feels like a monumental slap in the face when the same kind of treatment from the universe isn't thrown right back at you - why? Why not? It's like getting a dog to to sit, roll over and do tricks without the treat reward at the end. How Cruel.

Then there is the magic word, Karma. Everything will be okay. Hope. It may not be fact, it may not be proven but the word Karma by default embodies hope. Whether the word delivers it's "what goes around comes around" stigma is yet to be proven with all the masses. But I think the one thing we know is that would be the "right" way, the "good" way. So, a lot of us - who have been disappointed a few times or ten and have fallen into "why me?" syndrome whilst we watch others flourish; we put a small investment in those four little letters.

Then, I stopped thinking.

We waste minutes, hours, months, years of time wondering why things do or don't happen to or for us.

What we could have, would have or should have done to make things happen differently.

But here's the thing - there is no answer. It just is. We cannot control each other nor can we control circumstance. All we can do is do the absolute best we can and just keep going. No matter what horrific or unbearable situation you might find yourself in - be it emotional or physical. Our hearts will break and our bodies will suffer. But if we sit and dwell in the downward spiral of our zest, our personality our everything; the spiral will only spin faster and deeper into the dark.

So instead of asking why, what you did to deserve this? Remind yourself of why you shouldn't deserve it. Because I promise you the list will be the same. All you can do is look forward, take a deep breath and keep going... in whatever direction that might be - but I can guarantee, so long as you think that way; it definitely won't be going downwards.

Time Credit : Spending your Time in an Interest Baring Account.

Time. You either have it or you don't ; that's what they tell us. 

This is the moment to observe time a little differently.

In the world of assets, the time you spend is the most valuable and most difficult to get back in return.

So how do you spend your time to retain the absolute best interest? Think of it like your bank account. You pick a bank, a plan and have a monthly spending cycle on the basis of your needs and wants. 

In the case of how you spend the time in your life - where are you? Are you saving? Are you investing? Are you wasting? Or are you just doing what you have to do?

Time and happiness - yes they do go hand in hand, but not in the way that you might think. The obvious assumption would be "well, if you have more time, you'll be happier." Maybe.

By nature, people like to fill their time (unless you are hideously lazy, in which case you're probably not reading this anyway) whether it is with social activity, hobbies, travel or work. So having "more time" is inconsequential; it just allows more time, to do more of the same. 

The key here is how and what you spend your time doing that leads to your happiness - which is in turn - your return, your collective interest.

Studies have shown that in both youth and maturity the highest levels of "happy" endorphins prior to death are found in those who are, in my words "time investors." 

Who are the time investors? 

Despite what the name might suggest, they are not the entrepreneurs, workaholics and the seemingly "rich" people of this world. These are the people who spend their time primarily with other people, people who they care about or inspire them. Be it friends or family. Discount marriage from this equation because that will come back later. The highest reward structure goes to those who spend quality time with those who they are close and compatible with; in both group social activities and in one on one intimacy. It may not be a lot of time, but, the majority of their free time is spent "investing" in those around them. Physical-emotional research discloses that these people have higher levels of energy, intellect, creativity and active mental health. A very good investment.

The "time savers". The people who do a little of everything. This is the rational and logical way to be. To spend your time evenly amongst a variety of activities (social, hobbies, travel, work). Balance.

Like money savers, they calculate when they can spend, and how much they can spend on any given activity. Although this on the surface of things, appears to be a great idea that can accommodate variety into your life - people with this mechanism often find their time well spent, but have fewer returns than those who dedicate more to just relationships. This is a less valuable way of spending your time - in the financial world, in living like this; your stocks are inconsistent; up one second, down the next. Whereas a time investor is continuously at the top of the game. An age old argument of quality Vs quantity. Treating all things with the same priority level leaves quality levels a lot lower than those who separate and differentiate. Savers  tend to be organized, achieving, ambitious, physically fit people - but often suffer from loneliness and a desire for depth. 

The next group of people see little to no interest, and the reason why is self explanatory. "Time wasters". These are people who do not see the value of time. If time were money in their bank account it would be squandered; and they would have no credit. They wait for the other time spenders to come to them. It's not rare, nor is it unusual. A lot of people fall into the trap of "waiting to see what happens" and in the process of waiting for life to come to them - it passes them by. Very rarely is a person who lives like this happy. More often than not, the waster realises that they are wasting when it is too late. Predictably they are usually those prone to resentment, depression and laziness as a result of life not being handed to them on a platter. Stocks are low.

Things get interesting in the next sub category. Those who "do what they have to do".

These people spend their time, for the majority - pleasing others and following guidelines they do not necessarily take pleasure in. This is often found within marriage. Unlike investors, these people find themselves forced into using their time with somebody. Rather than by choice. So is the case with work, as oppose to working in a field that may be preferable, they find themselves in a rut - and often over worked. Because of the commitment to just these two particular things, these are the cases where you hear "I have no time" most. This is spending a lot of time with absolutely no pleasurable return. It applies to the over worked and some (not all, obviously) of the married. It is when time becomes a chore rather than an asset.  It is when sleep becomes the most valued time of all - instead of experience. Emotional debt. Commonly, those who do what they have to do are usually wealthy but unhappy, exhausted and sometimes prone to illness. 

So perhaps it is time for all of us to re access what kind of spenders we are and what kind of returns we want. We do it with our finances. Our interest returns are our happiness. The higher the stocks are in happiness, the more satisfying our lives can be.

Time is priceless, our biggest asset and the greatest gift we can give to anyone. Spend it wisely.

Hello

Welcome to The Bluebird.

By day and most nights I run my own company. I am a concert booking agent and concert manager.

In my heart I am a writer and I suppose a poet. On this blog page you'll find a little collection of  my original poetry and philosophical prose under "pages" or "move to". Some of the pieces can appear a little opinionated,  sometimes overtly sexual, highly romantic and otherwise unrealistically (whatever that is) idealized.  If this is a problem; best you leave now. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, but it does tend to come spilling out of my pen. So, welcome to my heart. You pay no rent here, I hope you enjoy your stay.