The Most Misunderstood Medicine- Oracle of the Orgasm - Part 2

The Most Misunderstood Medicine - Oracle of the Orgasm - Part 2

14 years ago I wrote a piece called "Oracle of the Orgasm" - let's call this a natural, delayed follow through. O... Oh.. O - Oracle of the Orgasm

There are remarkably few experiences capable of silencing the human mind, not distracting it or entertaining it - fully silencing it.

For a species that has built entire civilisations around overthinking, productivity and perpetual mental occupation, moments of genuine psychological stillness are surprisingly rare - an orgasm is one of them.

For a few extraordinary seconds,

• There is no career.
• No mortgage.
• No unanswered email.
• No social media.
• No political outrage.
• No body image.
• No performance review.

No version of yourself you are trying to become -  simply an experience.

Perhaps this is why conversations about orgasms have remained curiously underdeveloped. We have spent centuries either sensationalising them, moralising/ demoralising them or commercialising them, while rarely discussing what they actually represent. They aren't merely the conclusion of sex, nor are they simply reproductive biology wrapped in pleasurable packaging. They are one of the most sophisticated neurochemical events the human body can produce.

An orchestra conducted entirely beneath consciousness.

Within seconds, the brain releases dopamine, rewarding anticipation and motivation. Oxytocin floods the bloodstream, strengthening trust, affection and emotional bonding. Endorphins soften pain. Prolactin rises, encouraging feelings of contentment and satiety. Cortisol, our primary stress hormone, often falls. Heart rate accelerates before gradually returning to baseline, while muscles that have quietly carried tension for days—or months—finally surrender. For a brief moment, biology performs what meditation has pursued for centuries. Presence.

The modern world has become exceptionally good at producing stimulation, and has become remarkably poor at producing connection. These are not the same thing.

We often confuse sexual imagery with sexuality itself. One is visual- the other is deeply relational.

Even solitary pleasure, while valuable in its own right, reminds us that the body possesses remarkable mechanisms for emotional regulation. Studies suggest that orgasm can improve sleep quality, reduce perceived stress, alleviate certain forms of pain, elevate mood and contribute to overall wellbeing. The body has, in many ways, evolved its own pharmacy.

And unlike so many modern remedies, it arrives without asking us to become someone else first. There is another layer, however, that receives far less attention - human connection. The hormones released during affectionate touch and orgasm—particularly oxytocin—appear to reinforce pair bonding, trust and emotional closeness. They do not magically create love where none exists, but they do often deepen safety where it was once shallow.This explains why intimacy feels fundamentally different depending on the emotional landscape surrounding it. The same biology, an entirely different experience.

The Fitness Fantasy: Strength, Sex and Stability

The Fitness Fantasy: Strength, Sex and Stability

I'm writing this as a person who has always been enthusiastic and ingrained in fitness, physical and mental health, movement, longevity and life. 

There was a time when physical fitness was simple.

You climbed because there was a mountain. You ran because something needed catching, or because something terrifying needed escaping. Strength wasn’t aesthetic. It wasn’t curated. Nobody photographed their reflection in a river to prove they deserved to eat dinner.

Somewhere along the way, movement became marketing.

Despite the commercialisation, the algorithms, the endless parade of perfectly angled abdominal muscles and carefully dehydrated physiques, the science remains remarkably uncomplicated: moving your body makes your life better - not because it changes the shape of your waist, but because it changes the shape of your mind.

Regular physical activity is consistently associated with higher life satisfaction, lower rates of depression and anxiety, improved cognitive function, better sleep, greater resilience to stress and a longer, healthier life. Exercise increases neuroplasticity, improves insulin sensitivity, reduces systemic inflammation, stimulates endorphins, dopamine and serotonin, and even encourages the production of brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), often described as fertiliser for the brain. (PMC)

We speak about exercise as though its greatest gift is visible, it isn’t - its greatest gift is invisible

• Waking up with a quieter nervous system.
• Trusting your own body.
• Carrying groceries without thinking about it.
• Sleeping deeply.
• Discovering that confidence was never hidden beneath ten kilograms of body fat, but beneath years of believing you were incapable.

Being physically capable is deeply satisfying, and not because capability impresses other people, but because it quietly liberates you from yourself.

There is enormous psychological comfort in knowing your body can carry you through difficult things, Be it a steep hike, a stressful week, an unexpected illnes or an aging future.

Strength is one of the few investments that pays dividends in almost every area of life. Ironically, however, the pursuit of health can become profoundly unhealthy.

This is the paradox the fitness industry rarely discusses outside of influencers showcasing how a body can look entirely different in certain lighting or postures.

The line between discipline and obsession is so fine that many people cross it without ever noticing. That difference isn’t how often you train, it's what happens when you can't. 

For example, the healthy athlete misses a workout and goes for dinner with friends. The obsessive athlete misses a workout and spends the entire evening negotiating guilt. One body becomes stronger, the other becomes smaller despite growing larger (per say - could be smaller)

Psychologists increasingly recognise compulsive exercise as a behavioural addiction characterised not simply by excessive training, but by the inability to stop despite injury, illness, deteriorating relationships or declining mental health. Recent meta-analyses have shown meaningful associations between exercise addiction, body image concerns, depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive symptoms and eating disorders. (PMC)

What begins as self-care quietly transforms into self-surveillance. An existence where food stops being nourishment and it becomes arithmetic. Rest stops being associated with recovery and instead centres itself as failure. Birthdays become interruptions, holidays become inconveniences, dinner with friends becomes an exercise in estimating calories rather than enjoying conversation.

This is what happens when the body becomes the centre of existence while life itself slowly moves to the periphery. The irony is heartbreaking, because many people begin exercising in hopes of a bigger life with abundant opportunity. Then, they accidentally build a smaller one.

Relationships are often the first casualty. Not because fitness itself is antisocial, but because obsession has very little room for spontaneity. The friend who always leaves early because tomorrow is leg day. The partner who cannot enjoy a holiday because there isn’t a gym nearby. The parent whose child remembers protein containers more vividly than family dinners. 

Perfection is extraordinarily demanding company, one that doesn't take no for an answer and asks everyone else to orbit around it. So much so that even love begins to feel scheduled.

There is another conversation we rarely have: Sex.

Maybe it feels too intimate or intrusive. Too vulnerable. Or because admitting that our relationship with our bodies influences our relationship with each other would force us to confront motivations we would rather leave unexplored.

The science, once again, is refreshingly uncomplicated: physical fitness generally improves sexual health.

Regular exercise improves cardiovascular function, endothelial health, circulation and hormone regulation. Blood flows more efficiently, energy increases, stress hormones decrease, confidence grows and libido often follows. Men who exercise moderately are less likely to experience erectile dysfunction than sedentary men, while women who remain physically active report higher levels of sexual desire, arousal and satisfaction. Sexual function, in many respects, mirrors overall health.

The body does not compartmentalise. The heart supplying blood to your muscles is the same heart supplying blood everywhere else.

Confidence, too, has an undeniable erotic quality. There is something deeply attractive about someone who inhabits their own body comfortably. Not perfectly. Comfortably. Fitness often gives people permission to trust their bodies again, to become playful rather than self-conscious, to focus less on how they appear and more on how they feel.

But, as with almost everything worthwhile, excess quietly changes the equation. The pursuit of an exceptional physique can eventually become so psychologically consuming that the body itself begins to rebel.

History: Humanity's Mirror

 History: Humanity's Mirror

There is a peculiar comfort in history. Not because it is always pleasant, but because it reminds us that humanity has survived itself before. Every generation believes it is living through unprecedented uncertainty, unprecedented division, unprecedented innovation and unprecedented crisis. Yet history quietly reminds us that almost everything we are experiencing is simply another variation of an old story.

History: The continuous study of humanity through its people, ideas, conflicts, achievements and failures, revealing not only where we have been, but who we are. 

Perhaps history’s greatest misconception is that it is about the past. It isn’t, history is about the present - it simply uses the past as its language.

Society often treats history as little more than dates, monarchs, wars and examinations. Something to memorise before eventually forgetting. We separate it into subjects, centuries and civilisations, as though each existed independently from the next. In reality, history is not a collection of isolated events, but a continuous conversation between every generation that has ever lived. Every decision made by those before us became the foundation upon which we now stand. Every triumph, every mistake, every revolution and every discovery quietly shaped the psychology of the modern world.

The further back we look, the more we realise how little human nature has actually changed. Our tools have evolved. Our technology has evolved. Our medicine, architecture and understanding of the universe have evolved. We have not.

The Compass

The Compass 

I am the page they skim, the sea they never sound, 

A whispered constellation no map has ever found.

They take my laughter for a life that's light and free,

But never see the tides that turn so quietly in me. 

My heart has built monuments underneath a careless grin,

Entire books of poetry where few have wondered in.

I crave the road that disappears beyond the morning light,

A passport full of stories and a sky that is out of sight. 

I long for foreign streets where no-one knows my name,

Yet hope to find a pair of hands that will always feel the same.

I chase the wind with open arms unburdened by the past,

But treasure every gentle touch that's quiet enough to last. 

Don't cage me with your certainty or anchor every shore, 

For freedom is the reason that I'll always seek more.

But if you wan't, you can hold me close without demanding why,

Be a shelter when I'm weary, not the keeper of my sky.

I'm made of midnight conversations, thunderstorms and flame, 

Of childlike wonder stitched together with a wiser name.

I bloom where curiosity and courage intertwine, 

Collecting fragments of the earth to make their colours mine.