The Dance - Poetry

The Dance

I move like water calm before the wake,

Like rivers that tremble before they break. 

The music pours smoke through my bones and spine, 

Turning flesh and breath into borrowed wine.

Desire lives deep in the arch of my back, 

In the dangerous spaces self control lacks.

I dance in storms before they arrive, 

Heavy with thunder, electric and alive. 

I move like a wildfire learning restraint, 

Like colour escaping the edge of paint. 

I spin like planets pushed higher and higher,

Orbiting rhythm, gravity and fire. 

The floor hums softly beneath my feet, 

Like earth itself has discovered a heartbeat. 

Each motion unravels yet another disguise,

A language and pulse with no need for eyes. 

The music enters me low and deep,

Waking the parts of myself that refuse to sleep.

And when I spin the the whole world seemed to pause,

Caught somewhere between performance and applause. 

My hips speak truths my mouth never would, 

Of hunger disguised as being understood.  

I move like the sea when the moon pulls too near,

Chaotic, consuming, ecstatic and severe. 

Because women were not made for stillness or sleep,

We were made to be felt - profound and deep. 

The Dance

 

Weeping Willow - Poetry

Weeping Willow

Weeping Willow

Beneath the weeping willows veil,

Where the wind blew and the swans set sail, 

I stood close and felt your breath,

Like something sweet that threatened death.

The day was warm, the air was slow,

The lake whispered soft below,

And every branch that swayed above, 

Seemed tangled in my thoughts and needed a shove.

Your eyes held mine without a word,

The loudest silence I have ever heard,

While fingertips brushed fleetingly,

A spark, a dare, at least for me. 

Wanting to pull you near,

To taste the things that we could not hear,

To let the willow hide our sin,

While my darting eyes explored your skin.

The silver leaves danced overhead, 

As wild thoughts circled in my head, 

So if there's ever such a place, 

Where longing can finally leave a trace,

Where the the leaves weep for something true,

Back to that willow, with you.

It bent as though it understood,

The hunger hidden beneath the good, 

A keeper of unfinished things,

Of stolen breaths and tangled wings.

The willow wept like it once knew,

What aching hearts are destined to do. 

 

Time

 

Time

Time: The continuous, irreversible progression of existence, moving from past, through present, to future.

Duration: The measured period during which an action or condition exists.

Dimension: A fourth dimension, combined with spatial dimensions, in the space-time continuum.

Measurement: A system for organising events in sequence.

Psychological: The subjective experience of time passing, which can speed up or slow down based on cognitive perception. 

Many years ago I wrote a piece entitled "Time Credit: Spending time in an interest bearing account".

I simplified the concept of time into categories of different types of 'spenders' and what it meant about their individual psychology and priorities. Although theoretically practical, summarising time into such a basic concept was a disservice to the ultimacy and importance of time, the most valuable asset that we have. 

Philosophical speaker Alan Watts once argued that time is a social illusion, emphasising that only the present moment exists, and continued to famously state that we live in a culture "hypnotised by the illusion of time, missing reality by focusing entirely on memory or expectation." Watts pushed a narrative that urged living in the "eternal present" rather than wasting energy on the future. 

This concept is eutopic but flawed. On the one hand Watts preaches and perpetuates that a real, creative life only really happens when you stop rushing and worrying and move with the eternal present, but on the other hand Watts states that we are never actually experiencing anything other than the present and that time is a social institution used for measurement, not a physical reality. 

I have always been fascinated with time - it's speed, its finality, it's biological prowess and most of all, its functional mystery. There is nothing more powerful than the concept and enigma of time (illusion or not). People fear it, devour it, waste it but more often than not, never question it. Societal pressures, expectations and perceived milestones outweigh the value of time to a checklist of "expected achievements before we die," which leads me to my next reference from theologian William Penn 

"Time is what we want most but we use worst."

Seems obvious, doesn't it? Let's take a step back to societal pressures and expectations. 

• Birth
• Education
• Career
• Mortgage
• Marriage 
• Children
• Retirement
• Maybe grandchildren
• Death

In this case, time is deeply misconstrued as societal conformism. 

Reflecting on Penns quote, he refers to choices rather than time itself. The current global statistic of diagnosed recorded depression is sitting at an estimated  at 5.7% of adults. When including entire populations, one in 21 people experience high levels of emotional distress, with depression being especially prominent in 18-40 year olds. Studies from The University of Melbourne state that the impact of expectations and cultural societal pressure are largely to blame. So, I can safely assume that the "check list" and its requirements may be a contributing factor in how time is poorly used, at least for some people. 

"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself" is a quote famously penned by artist Andy Warhol. 

It seems like a very elementary point of view, but, is it?

What if time was spent singularly living based off of instinct, want and need rather than adhering to a script based on the assumption that life is a one-size fits all pressure cooker of achievements. What if time was experiential rather than didactic? To quote my birthday twin JFK "conformity is the jailer or freedom and the enemy of growth."  and one of my favourite authors JRR Tolkien "not all who wander are lost".

Could it be that the answer to modern day sufferance and time 'wasting' is simply to welcome a free society that cherishes nonconformity as opposed to uniformity? Encouraging people to live on their own terms, in the present that could be pleasurable and meaningful, as opposed to under sufferance for perceived reward? Remove the benchmarks and everything changes. 

Time: the past, present and future. A tool to learn, live and evolve - to change. A ticking clock that could run out of battery at any moment. But, how do we make that clock kinetic - how do we stop time?

No, we're not going to fall into a black hole. 

Between luck, fate and biology, we can only manipulate time to a certain degree, but, we can still manipulate it to work on our terms. 

The advantage of having a past, reflecting on memories and referencing different periods of our world is that we give ourselves the ability to fully embody the present in peelable layers in order to anticipate a future that is a direct result of the way that we choose to spend our "now."

A good reference point is in Buddhism, time is not an absolute, linear or external reality, but a relative mental construct dependent on causes, conditions and perception.  Meaning that past, present and future are all combined to create an active, present moment as opposed to linguistic differences of before and after. 

In simple terms, the past is now, the present is now, and the future is now. Slightly differing from the Watts mentality that time is wasted focusing on the past or future - in this case, all elements are equally as valuable; and whilst placing equal value on all of these moments, we are effectively deconstructing the illusion of time by not defining what qualifies as "right now."

Therefore time doesn't move forward or backwards - it stands still. And if you really think about it, this theory is the most malleable to life as we know it. As humans, we are nostalgic for the past, we take the present for granted and we are either excited or fearful of the future. What if we changed that though? What if we looked at all three as though they were today: 

• So we can feel the joy and pain of yesterday.
• So that we can be present today and not dreaming of tomorrow.
• So that we can see ahead whilst simultaneously living in the now.

They all feed off of each other; blurring lines of differentiation. This is how we live a full human experience without feeling time, embracing change.

Now the boring part: 

Time goes hand in hand with biology, as much as we try to run from it - we do age, it's unescapable. But how do we slow down the wrath that time takes on our bodies? This is probably the easiest to execute and will work directly in correlation with the mental health required to reassess life and time as a whole.

We bounce back to nonconformism. It is possible to metaphorically age backwards. It means embracing a lifestyle that may not be the  most common or understood. 

• Stop poisoning our bodies. It sounds dramatic, but alcohol is poison, cigarettes are poison, vapes are poison, drugs (legal or not) are also poison. The kindest thing we can do is support our engines, because once it starts having problems it's very hard to move backwards. Living in a world where poor lifestyle habits are normalised isn't only putting a timer on our biological clocks, but also stopping us from experiencing life in a real, fully immersive way. 
• Exercise. In a day and age that encourages being sedentary, be it at a seated office job, or the distractions of never ending screen time entertainment -  we need to be the exceptions. Move - nothing revives youth more than movement. Walk, run, weight train, dance, stretch, swim. Idle bodies are times workshop, nothing makes a human feel and succumb to the loss of time more than seeing it on themselves.
• Food. We wouldn't put dirty fuel in a premium car, would we? If we did, we would be knowingly shortening the life cycle of the car, so why would we do that to our bodies? 
• Sleep. this one seems counter productive. But, time spent tired, or sleep deprived everyday isn't time worth having at all. There is a difference between quality over quantity. Our bodies need to recharge. 
• Laughter. Laugher is a powerful anti aging mechanism that is proven to lower stress and inflammation, improve heart health, boost the immune system, act as a natural pain reliever, and engage cognitive function. A 15 year study has found that individuals with a strong sense of humour had a lower risk of death and disability (in a study of 14,000 older adults). It is also a great way to deal with the challenges that come with life. 

"Our bodies are our gardens, our wills are our gardeners" - William Shakespeare.

In closing, time is what we make it. It is our most precious, non-renewable resource, urging us to cherish life and live intentionally on our own terms and nobody else's rules. Time is the only currency we spend without ever knowing how much balance we have left, we must use it wisely. 

Live fully and cultivate leading with our hearts, minds and bodies, that way we will never be lost in the labyrinth milky-way of time - it may even stand still at just the right moment; even if it's just for a little while. 

   

A Key to the Chaos of Contemporary Communication

 A Key to the Chaos of Contemporary Communication.

Distractions. 

We live in the age of distraction and attention span deficit.

The consumer market of online entertainment has been fine tuned to quick, concise and over in mili-seconds "content" . Arguably, adult generations have devolved in our ability to focus on one quality interaction to a gateway of meaningless relationship hindering distractions. Instead of chapters of books, we shifted to meme's of quotes or info-vids summarising thousands of words in under a minute. Instead of hours of films we have endless streams of videos, tik toks, snap chats, reels - all short, sweet, and sometimes lacking any real quality and depth - just space fillers, floating through the ether. 

Instead of long, uninterrupted meaningful time and conversations with each other; we have mastered the undesirable art of being together whilst needing time-outs with our phones, televisions and computers in order to fulfil our need for quantity over quality. These were all once characteristics of young children - characteristics that more often than not, people grew out of -  things have changed; and quickly. We have lost the art of meaningful focus and communication.

We have lost the art of courtship and spontaneous interaction in favour of swiping left and right. We have lost the ability to engage deeply, to touch intentionally, to have a rally of conversation, maintain eye contact and be void of superficial distractions. 

There is a a distinct irony in me typing about this on a 14 year old blog, on the internet, I know. I justify this with my deliberate disconnection from social media otherwise, in an attempt to regain control of focus and substance that can be found in a solitary blog with no readers, functioning as somewhere between a journal entry and a philosophical study. 

My focus going forward with these blog entries, is what it has always been - to make you think (if you're reading). Ask questions, find yourself, decide who you want to be, why you want to be that way and ask yourself if today's societal shifts are really something that you need to or want to be part of.

The only natural way to shift from what has become expected into something entirely tailored to you on a human level is to first understand how all of these acts are a hindrance to your over all quality of life. We only live once, and right now as it stands, as a humanity we are wasting away behind screen, behind metaphorical masks of trend and expectation rather than seizing moments and reaching for meaningful adventure and connection. Our lives are not about cross-comparison or sharing every moment - they are supposed to be experiential. Be present, be the exception, you won't regret it. 

Rebel. Rebel against what is expected of you. A rebellion doesn't need to be announced, loud or witnessed. It is felt, it is felt when you talk to a stranger in a cafe or on the street. It is felt when you travel without advertising it to your followers on instagram or facebook, when you watch a concert with your eyes instead of through the camera lens of your phone, when you engage in long, meaningful conversations with your loved ones, friends or family without referencing social media or reaching for your phone. Read a book because you want to get lost in your imagination for as long as it takes to finish, build the chapters in your own mind, or perhaps because you want to learn from words rather than an algorithm. When you hold eye contact that little bit longer than you should, when you climb a mountain for yourself and not for the glorification. When you tell people how you feel without reminding yourself about what society expects of you. 

The quality of your communication and relationships serve as a domino effect to living life in a way that isn't centred around exhibitionism, comparison, or competition, but rather, a real desire to love living, to continue learn, and to experience moments that all become catalysts to conversation, attraction and experiential knowledge that make you a whole being capable of focus and chemistry. 

Rebel. 

 

Be more you

Muchness

Looking back on 2025 now fast approaching mid 2026, it was a year less about self reflection and adjustment and more about rediscovery. There are so many existing stereotypes in life that work to convince us, women more rigidly, that we must "change" with time. Though I certainly don't argue that change of the positive and transformative kind is part of healthy human growth, I have drawn a very firm and deep line in the sand on where that stops and losing the characteristics that make a person uniquely who they are begins. 

Muchness. As the Lewis Caroll tale of Alice in Wonderland once engraved in time "You're not the same as you were before. You were much more..muchier.. You've lost your muchness" . I understand that some might not think basing my life  on a quote from a children's novel (though I have always believed that it is more than that) is the most intelligent, intellectual or even practical choice - but,  I believe there is a lot of merit to the underlying message which can and will ultimately pivot a person from being unhappy or simply satisfied, to existing in their experiential and happiest potential. 

In my own experience, having turned 38 years old last May - I realise that much of the last decade has been dictated by outside circumstances; whether it be 'societal norms" or people who are trapped in an echo chamber of their own making. What I mean by this is that slowly and surely, depending on your location, age, gender and career path - your personality can completely shift from who and what you are at base level to something completely unrecognisable that blends into it's surroundings. 

I would be lying if I didn't own up to my own Peter Pan Syndrome. But, that leads to the question- why is that a negative thing? Why is the desire to remain externally excited about life in the way you are during your youth something to be frowned upon? What is wrong with being excited by the same things you were as a child or young adult? Aging is a physical act, and shouldn't be automatically transmitted to personality, passion and soul.

So, the question is - how do we revisit who we really are and let go of the person our surroundings has manufactured? Is it possible? Watch this space.. 

The Romantic - Continuous Prose Poetry

 

The Romantic

She is a romantic. 

A romantic not just in love but in every essence of her being, every moment and minute of her life- the air she breathes scented with renaissance lavender fields and secret garden magnolia blooms. 

She decorates her world with freshly picked wild flowers in a vibrant spectrum of technicolor and loses herself in an imagination bred from a lifetime of reading books, the love stories, the tragedies, the great adventures. 

She disconnects from modern day humanity to immerse herself into ancient philosophy, the deepest of thoughts catalysed from professors, artists, scientists and inspired rebels locked in a time warp known as yesteryear.

Her heart is trapped in the intellect of history and the imagined future of tranquility, captioned by the music burring from record players collecting dust in hidden corners, and songbirds from dense canopies of trees. 

She glides through life like a movie, a fairytale, floating in white linen gowns with sunbeams bouncing off of her skin. She dances to the silent songs and re-enactments in her subconscious as though they were mirages between the lengths of her fingers and souls of her feet. 

And her animals magnetise toward her like a princess from a fairytale, a menagerie of creatures great and small, under her spell of whimsy tumbling into a wonderland existence of multi species conversation and respectful adoration, without question or doubt. 

When she loves she loves in secret. She plays out the abundant masterpiece that is the novel of her mind. She paints the colour through the stages of infatuation; lustre and to ultimate love. She excites herself with monochrome snap shots in the gallery floating behind her eyelids, imagines the scenes from her most passionate film and composes moments and actions during slumber of her most intimate, daydreaming thoughts in exotic foreign lands, mountain top cabins, drift wood beach shacks, warehouse conversions, ivy covered cottages, grand old libraries, tiny bookstores and brick laid lofts.

When she kisses, she kisses slowly. She hears the flutter and flap of butterfly wings, she feels the wind against the tallest pampas grass in misty meadowy felids and the vibrations of a roaring steam train whooshing down her spine until the melody of serene musical elysian starts flooding her eardrums. 

Because she is a romantic. 

Remember

Memories are the illustration of a life lived, regardless of how eventful or uneventful that life may have been. Both of which are subjective to each individual in their own set of circumstances. 

Some of those memories are so fearcely locked in the depth of our subconscious that they cease to exist as an image, a thought or even a sound, smell or feeling. They exist only in a darkened corner of the mind made up of space, time and enigma. 

We are taught to cherish so much of our existence, to have gratitude, to move forward, to live in the moment, to keep learning and to enjoy the journey; all the while being repetitively versed to "let go of the past." There is a lot of logic and reasoning to that sentiment - the most obvious being that if an individual becomes fixated on their own past, they will never progress, never overcome and never reconsolidate their life in a proactive, productive and meaningful way. The predisposed relationship between depression and individuals fixated with unchangeable past events is one that has been studied and proven thousands of times over. 

There is much to be said about learning from the past. As a society and as an individual. Past progression is the default setting for humanity, history and the evolution of the planet as a whole - an on going experiment of trial and error; in search of perceived perfection; which is continuously interchangeable.

The common denominator irrespective of the source of the past, is that ultimately - it is negative. We either need to move on from it, or learn from it - or in some cases simply just "accept it"; all of which have connotations that are far from positive. 

So, we forget.

We forget moments, we forget people, we forget lessons, we forget mistakes, we forget the cumulative experiences that may or may not have brought us extreme joy or the deepest darkest sadness. We forget regret and we forget hope from years gone by. We forget the idealistic, illustrious, exciting naivety and spontaneity of our youth.

In the process, or the quest, for a spotless mind - we undo and unravel the thread count that makes us who we are, who we were and the person we could continue to become. Instead, we start fresh and we remould our claywork to fit this moment. Not the past - perhaps the future, but most importantly; right here and right now; and we do it over and over again. But what is to be said about that deafeningly quiet but screeching loud dark, dusty corner of our minds that wrap our past up tight, safely, hidden from the outside world but flowing through the serotonin that silently fuels our minds, our hearts our existence everyday?

It is is all of the yesterdays that have given us our today. In a modern world that thrives off of nostalgia for a time that no longer exists; our recollections are both our demons and saviours. We need to allow those vivid, cathartic memories devour us; and help us remember what it is that brightens up our eyes, widens our smile, sends shivers down our spine whilst simultaneously staying safe, in the locked vault that is our past. You have the combination; know when to use it. Our moments in time exist; it is ok to revisit them.