Oh, I know what you're thinking.
"What a contradictory title, she must think she's really clever."
Fear not - readers, stalkers, ex boyfriends, ex boyfriends new girlfriends, friends, family, random followers, perverts, internet trollers; all of your assumptions and questions are here to be answered and elaborated.
To begin, the title of this blog is not a contradiction, but rather a subject.
The twisted truth about honesty. "You can't handle the truth", yet "honesty is the best policy". Through time we have been thrown opposing sentiments on how to best address such a temperamental action and reaction. Every religious chapter and verse preaches the importance of honesty and morality. Without getting too controversial, I think we can all safely agree that followers of all religions tend to slip up on that fundamental value more often than not. It's not just religion, it's culture, it's manners.
Or is it?
By definition, the truth symbolizes actuality. The state of a subject as is; without distortion or further outward interpretation of any kind. In other words, a fact.
Honesty, differs. Honesty is often used as a verb to describe the action of being honest with ones self or a receiver of said honesty.
Simple.
So, why is it so hard for us to be entirely truthful and honest with each other?
A common misconception is "what they don't know will not hurt them." I can speak for most people when I say, what we don't know will hurt us. It is exactly that insecurity that surrounds the mystery of secrets and apparent dishonesty that diminishes most relationships, friendships, businesses and even ones relationship with themselves.
Our excuse, to which most of us are guilty to at least once in our lives - is that we don't want to hurt anybody. And the truth can be hurtful. Yet we still demand honesty from those around us.
Double edged sword. But, had we been truthful and honest from the get go - we could have avoided hurt all together. Alternatively, the truth might be frightening to tell - even if it has positive connotations. So basically, we are cowards.
Fear of reaction and consequence is the catalyst that can lead to twisting, embellishing, hiding and sugar coating truths - separating them from the now hidden fact they once started as. Unfortunately, this same action will almost always deliver an identical result with the only differential point being that it draws out the process longer. Ultimately, we end up hurting each other more by not being honest. With some truths - even positive ones, we may fall into a lingo of "never knowing", unknowing of which direction the reaction may go. Instead we choose to live a lie in order protect our own feelings.
That makes us selfish.
Before we all start brutally throwing home truths at each other, it's important to note that being truthful is not the same thing as being blunt, or for lack of a better word, mean. Painfully blunt individuals use truth based on their own opinion as a method of self promotion and as an otherwise diluted bullying tactic. Being honest is not about having an inherent superiority complex with the purpose of being belittling, patronizing or over all insensitive.
That is why we have to pick our truths carefully. Not every situation is owed honesty or action. This is why honesty, when used correctly; is so valuable.
Honesty is used when you are ready to be truthful with yourself and any other party involved. If it is not crucial to the wellbeing of the recipient that they know the truth, then leave it be. The truth you tell is not based on opinion, remember, it is actuality. It is exactly as is - without any twisting. Being upfront for whatever reason is a somewhat horrifying, nerve wracking difficult task. You do not know what you may lose or gain as a result. What you will almost always gain, is respect. A recipient will respect your courage to be honest with them as an indicator that you do care about them and their future. However negative or positive the news might be, it will inevitably be beneficial. You may not feel great after, or alternatively you may feel wonderful, relieved even - but try to understand it's the best thing for you as well.
Always be honest. We aren't mind readers and people only like good surprises. Do not be afraid. You could make someones day or you could break someones day - but either way; you will make someones life happier, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day.
my last sentiment
"If you don't lie, you never have to remember anything."
and remember, if you love them, tell them.
